Friday, January 2, 2009

Dear Genie: This New Year I Wish I Can Fly


Once again, a new year has dawned upon us. It’s like deja vu. Are we on crack or is god playing a trick on us? But this year is going to be different; change is here and it’s here to stay. Right? If you think the contrary then you are a pessimist and should be burned at the stake. Surely by now, we are seasoned and coming of age. How can we not be? For example, I’ve existed on planet earth for over 24 years now. What excuse do I have? Hurray! We are all going to become millionaires and end poverty simultaneously except for people born in the year of the Ox; 2009 is the Year of the Ox in the Chinese Zodiac (No wonder last year, the year of the Rat, wasn’t as fantastic as expected for those of us born in 1984 and those born every 12 years before and after 1984). Empirically (according to the Chinese ancestors and gods), if the current year is the same year (on the Chinese calendar) as the year that you were born on, you are in for some double trouble bad luck doomsday. Boo-hoo. So basically we were guided to get shitfaced constantly in 2008; I guess I can say I tried to do my part of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Moo Moo? Comprehendo? Do you know what sound Oxen make? Do you know the difference between an ox and a cow? Yes, an ox is a castrated enslaved cow. Great Story. Moving back to my original theme and speaking for us non-oxen, this year, we will embrace our values, wear our hearts on our sleeves, streamline our ambitious career paths and indulge ourselves in optimistic bliss. How does that sound?

Even without the introspection of a clairvoyant 1 year old toddler sucking on mommy’s breasts, we duly anticipate in coming weeks the natural dissemination of “new” news: flurries of New Year’s resolutions being carefully manifested in some mental, verbal, or written shape or form. Perhaps they are simply resolutions blindly regurgitated or recycled from the previous year or the year before. Kudos, I am wildly curious and ecstatic to hear about the new hope & changes that everyone expects to magically occur upon themselves or the world in the next 365 days only to be "marginally" discouraged and deeply surprised when expectations aren’t quite realized at the turn of 2009. Deceiving, but sensible, the flourish of new years resolutions’ spread contagiously like cooties do in a wild and underaged, spin-the-bottle pajama party in some basement. Wait, let me see, I am suddenly inspired to take control of my life which basically means: 1. end poverty 2. become a millionaire 3. look like pitt/jolie 4. “find” or “make” love 5. re-ignite lost friendships/familial relations 6. Become a Rapper. While naturally I am neutral as I see the glass as half full and half empty from time to time, which I actually believe is the sane perspective to have, I hope for us that by learning from our prior faults, we are becoming smart enough to somewhat understand that “change” only occurs when our daily habits evolve and our “resolutions” are realistically manufactured with a detailed blueprint and a step-by-step how to guide for dummies. So what, I exaggerate a little, but you get my point. Those of us that don't want change should be happy with who they are then. Shoot me if I don’t want more people to be more misguided, discouraged and depressed.

We like to think that some of us are privileged (rich biatch), lucky (right place at the right time), smart (brains), hardworking (slave), rational (making the “right” logical choices), or flat out beautiful (natural or plastic), and these characteristics define and limit our potential as beings. Yes or No? Did you watch Slumdog Millionaire? What about that? Don’t laugh, it was a true story… So what if it wasn’t true… who cares if it was true or not? At some point do we really have to stop complaining about why this or that hasn’t worked or why we are shit out of luck because of blah blah and stop sitting on our butts just dreaming about possibilities that we can only fathom when unconscious. I am no einstien, but how about rather than dream big, we start to think about dreams as achievable goals? Dreams don’t come true, but goals do (please don’t say it can only happen to Jordan or Obama or any one successful). When a dream is reinterpreted as a goal, it effectively comes true almost..maybe if you put a little effort? A little sugar and spice? and a lil' luck? We live only live on earth, not mars. Although, once in a while, we would all like to live on mars.

Happy New Year everyone, and for 2009 I hope that we can all put sometime and effort into planning our resolutions before we casually dish them out like KFC flyers: setting reasonable (lofty or not) expectations for ourselves and understanding the consequences of not achieving them. All these self-proclaimed gurus pitch all this BS about how to get rich by doing nothing, how to lose weight in 2 days, how to make friends or network while vaporizing your enemies, or how to get a better job. Suddenly these “gurus” are shockingly saviors and selling books/cds/movies by the dozen. To their credit, some of them actually make sense. The self-help industry is booming, especially during now in a time of crisis. Additionally, low confidence and low-morale permeate our times leading us to resort to our respective religious or secular faiths. However, other people's faiths (dreams, resolutions, as you like) are being taken advantage of unknowingly; we do live in a capitalist society. In one practical view, resolutions are self-fulfilling expectations defined by specific goals with day to day objectives not to be taken lightly for the fainted heart. Perhaps rather than What, we should be thinking about How it fits in our schedule and How to follow what we want religiously like radical extremists every morning when our eyes open to a new existence. In my most modest and empathetic state, I wish everyone the best and hope our economic, political, and social calamities come to a screeching halt ASAP! Hopefully, we can all be more happy and more fun in 2010. Hm.. let me see, obviously my New Year's resolution is to be more happy and more fun (I won't tell u my secret recipe though).... and if Genie gave me any one wish, I would wish that I could fly (not end poverty) in a heartbeat. No Joke. Maybe Adam Smith was a little right about me.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Youtube Gangsta Rap: Power meets Creativity meets X Rated Material

YouTube is arguably the most powerful networking/marketing/social grouping/ online tool that allows us to post virtually any video of our likes (other than homemade sex-I heard for that you go to youporn...check with you parents though) for public viewing. Look how far we've come since early nineties, the prenatal stages of the worldwideweb (as least for me in Bangkok, Thailand), when most of us had as much internet savvy as the beanie boppers. To be fair, we weren't retarded yet (now, we are), just slightly impeded by the technological sophistication of those caveman times. Now, I can watch Youtube vids on my bling bling Iphone almost anywhere but underwater, in a batcave, or at the base of the Empire State Building? Can you hear me now?

I discovered these X rated vids on YouTube, and thought dang! thank you to all those courageous and creative aspiring artists, and/or shameless and free-spirited internet geeks (positive connotation to the word geek here), all of whom despite being overlooked more often than not, are keeping busy reviving humor in media entertainment. Much love and respect. No judgement. Watch out SNL, comedy shows, and news daily shows, the Youtube show is here to stay (sorry to my chinese friends in mainland- post something controversial and share with us what bodyparts you have left post video-upload phase!). We, the intelligent human species, flourish around innovation, creativity, humor and above all, controversy! During recession, some of us start blogging for no apparent reason (for now.. we still have jobs.. probably not for long though), some of us post videos on Youtube, and some of us go straight to the nightlife scene hoping that the continual state of blissful oblivion will tighten our asses and sharpen our wits. All for the better. See you all next at the club moving to the beats and if you're lucky they'll play these rhymes.... For what it is worth, although the vids might be old, I'm doing some free marketing for these peeps.


TI-Whatever you like Spoof: Barack Obama at his best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-yJBsjatW0

American Boy Parody: First Asian boy -I don't know this guy, but I like his attitude.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CqbZNHaf1o

Dangerous Cup-What was I listening to at this age? Aqua? Mariah? Backstreet boys? Guess I was a late bloomer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8RP_qdAfkY

Ashley Alexandra Dupre Eliot Spitzer's former booty call's vid- "what we want" remix with C James. Britney like?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6oBPP_Vzk

Mariah Carey's- Without you "Ken Lee" - Bulgarian American Idol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CqbZNHaf1o
The improved version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT18LZItBLA

Is Rihanna as tasty as chocolate? tasty as Nutella? Check this one Umbrella Nutella Remix:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFkz4NjFQkk

This next one is not as fun. I did call Leona Lewis to fame though. Is the next upcoming female superstar Esmee Denters? Justin Timberlake found her videos on youtube and signed her; she's releasing an album in March 2009. She has a decently cute face (pretty average by mainstream standards) and has an unique Dutch accent, but her innate gift is nothing next to that of mariah, rihanna, leona. My bet is that she'll likely make it big since she'll: a. master an instrument, b. shake her body like crei-crei on stage, or c. bed JT.
Here's a sample:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3uXltabpns&feature=channel

Friday, December 26, 2008

Roubini, You were one step behind Calvin

Found this on Clusterstock and it fits perfectly into my life given the empowering symbolism of this cartoon and by virtue of the character at hand (Parental Advisory: Other than similarities in our names, Calvin and I have quite different personalities, or so I believe). It's amazing that this comic strip was written 15 years ago. This is another example of a foretelling, but latent red flag that depicts the root cause of a contributing factor to our pending financial collapse at the fundamental level: corporate greed laced with inattentiveness to the consumers' needs (More dangerous than marijuana laced with blow...). As an example, Calvin's ambitions and mindset are quite analagous to that of our friends over at Ford, GM, and Chrysler. Luckily for them, their $Bns in subsidies will keep them around for a little bit longer. Where was Hobbes when Calvin needed him to level his head? Where were the board of directors? More importantly, Where Mamma at? Need some bling.






Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Berry Xmas - The Spirit of Christmas?

Christmas is in my interpretation the supposed pinnacle of joy and fun each year when family members from across the globe (or the rooms of the same house), reunite to celebrate the birth of Christ. There can be a heated debate about which holiday dictates more family unision: xmas or thanksgiving, but personally, being a traditional Non-American (residential non-alien is what they list me as on my passport) Catholic, I would like believe in the latter as it represents a more global tradition. I am Catholic by default, but if one questions the extent to which I practice piously and wholeheartedly believe in the religion, I rest my case.

Naturally, this glamourous occasion has evolved to include our friends, lovers, and anonymous individuals (some guy by the xmas tree), as we continue to encourage the spirit of sharing and caring beyond our blood-ties. Even for those Non-Christmas practicing individuals who out of principles and values, blindly or not, guide themselves to contradict the spirit by staying home alone drinking or blatantly wreaking havoc out on the streets, somewhere within their souls, the harboring of unfulfilled emotional cravings meets a flame that has been lite to ignite some celebratory sense of excitement or comfort. Afterall, for those of us, like myself, who have long been disconnected with the idea of Christmas (one of a few reasons being...I stopped receiving presents wrapped as gifts or simply became smart enough to suspect the reality of the cast of christmas characters), surely the adapation of an obese, old, and winter-proof Santa Claus, spotty red nose reindeer that fly, promiscious female elves in tight green stockings (hm...), and gifts that fulfill our dreamy desires, should reinstill some sort of hope and optimism in our lives?

A time of prayer. A time of joy. A time to reflect. A time to spend $$. A time to stuff our faces silly. Let us recognize, not all of us are fortunate enough to share in good faith. While some of us are starving to death unknowingly in the dark corners of the world, the rest of us are still logging hours at work through the wee hours of the night. Yes, even on Christmas Day. Nevertheless, we are grateful of what we have and wish everyone smiles and positive energy-Qi. As the complexity of world issues becomes more convoluting and the interconnectedness of individuals at the personal/physical level becomes more digital, what's left of us as emotional and rational beings to engage what we often hear as : "change the world" or "out of touch"? Is Christmas another rare time during the year when reflection is socially endorsed?

Ironically, I spent Christmas eve with a buddy of mine watching the movie "Equilibrium", zipping on a beer to tunes of the howling wind striking against the windows. The movie, as inspired by the lofty books 1984 and Farenheit 451, reminds us that our feelings of jealousy, hatred, fear, love, anger and forgiveness..etc, gives us the ability to sense. We should not be deprived of or restrained from sensing, for it is perhaps what defines us as beings (of course, there are consequences of out-of-control sensing that affects social norms -don't get crazy ideas). During Christmas time, our senses are heightened, our feelings are vulnerable, and our minds open up to absorb like sponges. Fact: the period from Christmas to New Years is the highest mating period during the year. Whether you like it or not you were probably made during this time (Stamp: Made in China Dec 2008). Everybody is getting it on! People are sensing out there! No wonder the streets are desolate. From a rather suspicious angle, the cultivation of Christmas ass over the years has renewed the "spirit" of our holiday.